Like Knight and Day
by Christina Teresa

A/N: As usual, this story started out as something completely different, but turned into this bit of utter silliness now before you. This tale, in which my "Hufflepuff" OC Veronica Stanley-Snape finally faces off against Lucius Malfoy, was completely inspired by Jason Isaacs' deliciously nasty performance in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

"Like Knight and Day" is just for fun and is not intended to infringe upon any copyright owned by J. K. Rowling or Warner Brothers Pictures. Original story and characters © Christina Teresa, 2003. Rated PG-13 for mild language.

~*~

Chapter One: Manly Bows and Ruffled Feathers

Lucius Malfoy caught his reflection in the gilded mirror of the Old Raven Theatre's lounge and smiled. He looked even more handsome than usual this evening. He turned to the side slightly, making certain the black satin bow in his hair was straight and the curl in his silky blond hair lay just so down the back of his dark green velvet cloak. He hadn't yet decided which young actress he'd be spending the latter part of the evening with, but he wanted to be sure she would be dazzled not only by his wealth and power, but by his considerable physical charm as well.

He pulled himself away from his stunning reflection and glided regally through the lounge, lightly swinging his serpent-headed cane. He stopped and engaged in convivial gossip with the powerful few who were present, making certain to turn up his patrician nose at the unworthy plebeians who tried to earn his favor. He was just about to deliver a particularly demoralizing jibe to a Ministry flunky who had tugged at his cloak in an effort to gain his attention, when a woman's grating laughter broke through the chatter of the theatre patrons enjoying their cocktails before the play.

Malfoy turned and scowled when he spotted Veronica Stanley (Stanley-Snape, he corrected himself grimly) and her dupe of a husband Severus standing near the bar. She was sucking on a pint of ale like the common tart she was. Her fine silk robes were no match for her wild curls sticking out in every direction. Severus, dressed in his somber black robes as usual, looked uncomfortable in the brightly lit room. Marriage to a woman so far beneath him in social rank had obviously done Snape no good whatsoever. After a moment or two, Veronica turned and spotted Malfoy. He almost chuckled when she mouthed 'bloody hell' at the sight of him. Common is as common does.

Last year, Professor Stanley had dared to make a fool of Malfoy in the shabby Leaky Cauldron. The incident was made even more public when a highly biased account was published in the Prophet. Even now, the humiliating words reverberated in his mind:

…Stanley took Malfoy to task regarding the behavior of his son, Draco, who has been engaged in questionable activities at the famous school of magic…Perhaps the wizarding world's most generous citizen should spend less time at benefit dinners and more quality time with his troubled son.

Malfoy had used his influence to have her sacked from her position at the Madragora Institute for Magical Research, but of course, that fool of a headmaster had refused to release her from her position as Hogwarts Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. He had even asked the Dark Lord to have her killed, but when she had been in Voldemort's grasp, she managed to escape with the help of Severus and that other constant irritant, Harry Potter.

Suddenly in the mood for some pre-show entertainment, Malfoy sauntered over to the couple. He noticed that Snape was whispering something in his wife's ear; no doubt ordering her to hold her tongue, but Malfoy knew that was useless. That blasted woman was incapable of knowing her place.

"Severus," Malfoy drawled, then turned to Veronica and gave her his most devastating look of condescension. "And the little woman. Congratulations on your recent nuptials. Your dear parents must be so proud, seeing their aging spinster daughter marry so well above her station."

"I'm touched," Veronica replied, grinning wryly. "We would have invited you and Narcissa to the wedding, but we decided we'd rather enjoy ourselves instead. By the way, where is your lovely wife?"

"Narcissa detests the theatre," he said airily. "Besides she's in France with Draco for the summer, visiting her mother."

Veronica clucked her tongue. "I can tell you're just heartbroken not to be spending quality time with your family, particularly your always courteous and well-adjusted son."

Severus shot her a warning glance and she seemed momentarily cowed.

Lucius snorted. Quality time…that damnable phrase again. "I am sorry I missed your wedding, I did so want to be there. You must tell me, Veronica, was your wedding dress second-hand or did your father manage to buy you a new one? I understand it's been a good year for rubbish peddling."

Severus sighed and shook his head. Turning to the bartender he requested another Firewhiskey and downed it in one gulp.

Veronica's face colored to a dark umber and her strident voice became even shriller. "Oh, we're on a first-name basis now, are we? Tell me, Lucy-us, how did you find your darling boy in the twenty minutes you spent with him in between picking him up at King's Cross and shipping him off to Grandmama's? Is he still torturing innocent amphibians or has he graduated to cats and dogs?"

Malfoy started to turn away from her, hoping it would appear that she was just a hysterical female whom no one should pay any mind, when she went one inch too far:

"Oh, by the way," she called, "I just love the bow in you hair. Borrow it from you wife?"

 A few people nearby giggled nervously, while Malfoy's alabaster complexion reddened with fury. "How dare you!" He drew his wand out of the base of his cane with a violent flourish and pointed it at her. Veronica had her wand out only a second later. The quickly gathering crowd took a few steps back as Severus stood in front of Veronica and put a restraining hand on Malfoy's arm. 

"Why don't we call it a draw and try to salvage the rest of this evening?" Severus rumbled with an implied threat in his voice.

But Lucius had no intention of letting her insult pass. "I demand satisfaction!"

"Are you challenging me to a duel?" Veronica asked, peeking out from behind Severus.

Malfoy gave her a deadly smile. "I don't normally duel women, but in your case…"

"Just name the day," she replied defiantly.

Severus spun around and fixed Veronica with such a ferocious glare it made her wince. "I'm afraid my wife won't be free," he said through clenched teeth, "she'll be busy getting a divorce!" Severus forced himself to take a calming breath and turned back to Malfoy. "Move along, Lucius."

Malfoy took a step forward until his nose almost touched Snape's. "You are a traitor to your family name. She's ruined you, Severus." Then with a royal sneer and a dramatic rustle of his cloak, Malfoy stormed off to take his seat in his private box.

*

The next morning at Snape Manor, Severus sat at the kitchen table watching his wife slam the pantry doors and bang various pieces of breakfast crockery around in a fit of pique that had carried over from the previous evening. "Are you almost through being cross with me, or shall I hide in the dungeon lab today?"

Veronica spun around and faced him. She always had difficulty sustaining her anger and he could tell her annoyed expression was somewhat forced. "The very least you could have done is defend me."

"I thought you were defending yourself quite well. What did expect me to do, hit him?"

Veronica brightened considerably at the thought. "Yes, I would have enjoyed that."

"And it would have no doubt vastly improved an already volatile situation," he added sarcastically.

As Veronica took a deep breath, Severus could almost see her ire melting away. "I still would have enjoyed it."

Severus gave her an affectionate smirk and motioned for her to sit in his lap. She put her arms around his neck, while he draped one arm lightly around her waist. He pushed a few stray curls out of her face and kissed her softly on the forehead, then on her lips. "Swear to me you will not duel him under any circumstances."

Veronica pulled away slightly, but she didn't have the leverage to bolt from Severus' lap. "He insulted my father--again! Even Hufflepuffs have their limits."

"I'm certain your father doesn't give a whit about Malfoy's opinion--good or bad." He gathered her up in his arms and kissed her again. "It isn't worth risking yourself for an insult."

"Assuming I'd lose." She poked herself in the chest indignantly, then winced and rubbed the spot when she realized she had poked herself too hard. "Dark Arts expert, remember?"

"Studying the Dark Arts and living them are two completely different things. You of all people should know that." He took her chin in his hand, his dark gaze meeting her soulful brown eyes. "Swear to me you will not duel him."

"I swear," Veronica said finally after some hesitation. A Hufflepuff's pledge was her bond, which was why Severus had insisted she swear to it. "Now, let me up so I can finish fixing breakfast." Severus helped her to her feet, and then poured two cups of tea while Veronica tended to breakfast.

As Veronica buttered the toast, their tawny owl, Livia, flew through the open kitchen window carrying a few letters in her beak and a rolled-up copy of the Daily Prophet in her talons. Veronica dropped the toast, most of which hit the floor instead of the plate in front of her, but she managed to snatch the paper before Severus could grab it. She unrolled it, scanned the front page and declared with obvious relief, "It didn't make the paper."

"Oh really?" Severus said as he inspected the back page. He turned it around and showed her the rather large black-and-white photo that graced the gossip column. Veronica and Lucius Malfoy were waving their wands at each other threateningly, while Severus held them apart.

Veronica cringed then smiled sheepishly. "Well, you look awfully handsome. Very protective. What do you say we cut him out and frame it?"

Severus bared his teeth in an insincere smile. "Why don't I just read the accompanying article instead?" With a deep sigh, he began:

"'Last night's performance of The Wayward Wizard at the Old Raven Theatre wasn't nearly as entertaining as the show in the theatre's lounge. Lucius Malfoy and Hogwarts' Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Veronica Stanley-Snape, were caught exchanging insults that would have exploded into wand-fire if not for the cooler head of her husband, Professor Severus Stanley-Snape--'" Severus stopped short and glared at his wife, who was stifling a laugh. "'Severus Stanley-Snape'?! You just had to hyphenate it, didn't you?"

"Well, at least they got my name right this time. Go on Mr. Stanley-Snape," she said with a giggle, "what else does it say?"

He rustled the paper in irritation and continued, "'Mr. Malfoy's generous contributions to the wizarding world are too numerous to list here…'"

Veronica snorted.

"'…Professor Stanley-Snape was instrumental in ridding the world of the notorious Dark wizard, Rupert Balin. This reporter would like to remind these two esteemed citizens that dueling is illegal and that such behavior would hardly serve as an example to the impressionable wizarding youth who undoubtedly look up to both as role models.'"

"You made that last bit up." Veronica grabbed the paper from Severus and was annoyed to see that the paper's admonition was indeed in black and white. She sighed. The Prophet reporter was right, of course. She folded up the paper, leaned over and kissed her husband apologetically. "I'm sorry for being so childish last night, Severus."

One corner of his mouth curled in a sardonic grin. "That's Mr. Stanley-Snape to you."

*

"Would Master like to kick Twinky again?"

The house-elf bent far forward, waiting expectantly for his master's boot, but the blow never came. Lucius Malfoy picked up his serpent-headed cane instead and knocked the annoying creature towards the library door.  He then picked up his cold cup of tea and hurled it at the elf. "Get me a decent cup of tea, you stupid fool, and then lock yourself in the cupboard until I call you!"

The saucer whizzed by the elf's left ear and smashed against the wall. The cup, on the other hand, hit him squarely in the back of the head, then bounced to the floor. The dazed creature picked up the china shards and staggered out the door.

Sitting in his throne-like leather chair in his opulent private study, Lucius was surrounded by dozens of rare magical artifacts and a collection of Dark Arts tomes rivaling that of the Restricted Section in Hogwarts' library, but it was the latest edition of the Daily Prophet that absorbed his thoughts this morning. He clutched the paper tightly in his hand, and as he squeezed his fist, he tried to imagine that damned woman's scrawny neck in his grasp.

Against his better judgment, he violently uncrumpled the paper and glanced at the humiliating photo again before he threw the paper on the fire. Not only had he been made an object of public ridicule once again because of that working-class tart, the Prophet had the audacity to publish a photograph of him that clearly did not show his best side.

Veronica Stanley-Snape would pay dearly for this outrage.

~*~

To be continued…