Double Dog Dare! -- Episode 23
Lev, 9 April 2002

Margo Lestrange was bored. After nearly a decade and a half in Azkaban, she finally felt as though there was nothing left to do. Even the screaming, which had provided so much delight in the past, no longer gave her any pleasure. Once or twice she found herself wishing the dementors had an effect on her, just so there would be a change. But that would require a soul, and that she did not want.

"Why don't I just leave?" she asked herself. Through her heavy-lidded eyes she stared out her cell window at the violent North Sea surrounding the island of Azkaban. The she smiled to herself.

"I don't want to disrupt the plan, that's why." She started to laugh.

She heard a violent scream. It was her husband. "Weak minded fool!" she shouted. "Take it like a man!"

She looked out the opening of her cell door, trying to catch a glimpse of her tortured husband. She saw a dementor glide toward her. It stopped at her door.

"Hello, Janet darling," Margo said to the dementor, "I had been wondering if you forgot about me."

The dementor lowered its hood to reveal the face of Janet Tewksberry. She unlocked the door and entered the cell.

"I'm always surprised at how remarkably easy it is to kill one of these things," Janet said while removing the cloak, "Why wizards fear them so much is beyond me."

Margo smiled. She had missed her younger sister. "Wizards are weak," she replied.

Janet laughed. "Tell me about it. In a short span of time, I captured both Sirius Black and Severus Snape."

"Snape? Why Snape? He's one of us, isn't he?" asked Margo.

"Alas, no. He's with Dumbledore now," said Janet. "And you wouldn't believe the whore he's taken up with. No brains whatsoever, that one.

Janet unsheathed the sword hanging at her belt. "In fact, I used that floozy's sword to kill the dementor whose robes I stole."

"Let's back up a minute, shall we," said Margo. "You've captured both Black and Snape?"

"Not both," said Janet, "I had to escape quickly, so I could only carry one. I chose the traitor. Don't worry though, Black has ingested the dementor potion. He won't recover any time soon."

"How could you not kill him? He's a dangerous risk," Margo said.

Janet shook her head. "I was in Hogwarts. It would have taken too much time energy and drawn Dumbeldore's attention. He's too powerful. I can't risk fighting him without you. Or at least Voldemort," she wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"So Black got away?" asked Margo with some disappointment.

"No, I did," said Janet gruffly, "Don't worry, the plan is still running smoothly, just not as smoothly as it could. More opponents than I had anticipated. And there was a dog involved too, and it caused a fair share of trouble." Realizing what she said, the two sisters laughed hysterically.

"How's the master?" said Margo sarcastically, "I assumed he's returned if you're here." She wiped a tear of mirth from her eye.

"Ah yes," said Janet, "He's back. Your liberation should be coming soon, and then the plan will be put into fruition."

"You gave him the map?" asked Margo anxiously, "How could you?"

"Give me some credit, sweetie darling," said Janet. She took a roll of parchment from out of her robes and gave it to Margo. "Here is the map of Azkaban. I entrust it to you. I've made a copy for Voldemort. Naturally it's a fake. It will lead him to the waiting wands of the Aurors. He won't know the difference. After all, he's never been here."

Margo laughed. "Does he have it yet?" she asked.

"No. I sent him a Muggle joke list about the follies of Evil Overlords instead. I'll deliver him the fake when I deliver him Snape. He'll be in a better mood if he has a prisoner to torture. Especially a traitor."

Margo could not help grinning. "Why did you send him that list?"

Janet's harsh laughter rang throughout the chamber, drowning out the screams. "Why, for his own benefit, of course. Can you imagine the great and terrible Voldemort losing to Harry Potter three times? He must be doing something wrong."

"So Harry Potter has come of age then and the prophecies are coming true. No wonder Sirius Black escaped," murmured Margo.

"I meant to ask you," Janet said, "How could you have possibly had sex with Black more than once? He's so bad at it."

"Yes, he really has no idea how to please a woman. I wonder if he knows any more about men," giggled Margo, "Still when you're in a stone prison with no better options, anything will suffice."

"Too true," sighed Janet, "The boys at Durmstrang were quite inept. Didn't know a woman from a hold in a tree. Thank Morgana, the professors were more knowledgeable, if somewhat less pretty. That reminds me, Karkaroff is in hiding from Voldemort. I thought you'd like to know."

"That slimy, treacherous weasel," raged Margo.

"Don't worry," said Janet, "His time will come. Voldemort is furious with him. Blames him for Baby Crouch's condition."

"What wrong with Baby Crouch?" asked Margo with some concern.

"He had a soul," said Janet. Both women bowed their head for a moment.

"Janet, you better be careful," warned Margo, "You're playing a dangerous game with Voldemort. Even you can't fight him, the Death Eaters, Dumbledore, and whoever else at the same time."

"Yes, yes, yes, I know. I could never be an evil overlord, because I'm too arrogant," said Janet, "But I've studied the prophecies very closely since I last encountered you, and I know Voldemort is not destined to kill me. Nor a Death Eater, nor anyone else whom I have yet encountered. The star point to my death in a great battle."

"There are other things they can do to you," said Margo ominously.

"They can throw me in here," laughed Janet, "And then the two of us are together again and under no obligation to stay."

"Why hasn't he tried to get the map before?" asked Margo, "His most loyal supporters are in here. Well, save me."

"He did just come back. And he fears us together," said Janet, "As do the other Death Eaters. They've tried to convince him not to release you. But since I've brought the map to his attention, he has no choice. He'll look weak if he doesn't try to free you. After his most recent defeat by Potter, he can't afford that."

There were some more screams in the air.

"Ah, the lovely sound of torture," said Janet, "That reminds me, I have to attend to my guest. He's been stunned and locked up in our old swamp for a few days no. I don't want the Hogwarts Potions Master to waste away, especially since I have the most delightful elixir of my own, just for him."

"What do you think he'll see?" asked Margo excitedly.

"I don't know. But with demons like his, I imagine it will be beautiful."

Margo got up. The two sisters hugged and kissed each other on the cheek.

"Darling, I brought you a gift to entertain you during the rest of your stay here," said Janet. She ungirded the sword from around her waste. "Kill a few dementors, no one will notice. I'm sure the sword's owner will mind terribly, but I don't care about what she wants."

Janet put on the dementor's cloak and glided out of the cell, closing the door behind her. Margo waved the sword in front of her and watched the cold blade. She heard her husband scream again.

"Don't worry, dear heart," she muttered in his direction, "Everything will be as it should very soon."