Double Dog Dare! -- Episode 31
Mona, 4 January 2003

Enough, Sirius thought, wiping the tears and grime from his face onto the sleeve of his robe, is really enough. Thankfully, the vision hadn't consumed him for nearly as long as it had before - does the potion weaken over time? or am I just becoming accustomed to it? - and as he staggered to his feet he nearly tripped over Snape lying in a pool of black cloth. Quickly checking to make sure he was still breathing - last thing I need is to have to explain how the sodding bastard died on my watch - Sirius then turned to the other casualty of Janet's cruelty.

"Fidelis… how badly are you hurt, boy?"

He was answered with a small whine.

"Okay, let's see." Running his hands expertly over the tiny dog's body, he felt the leg bones that had apparently been broken by a well-placed kick.

"Rrrrowch!" Fidelis protested weakly.

"Yes, I know it hurts, pal. Let's see what we can do about that." He reached for his wand to perform a pain-relieving spell, then muttered a curse as he discovered the wand gone. A quick survey of the room confirmed that Janet had taken it with her.

Sirius gently scratched Fidelis on the head. "I'm sorry boy. Just hang in there until we can get you back to Hogwarts and have Madame Pomfrey fix you up good as new."

The problem being, of course, that didn't look bloody likely to happen any time soon. Sirius checked the wards and found them - of course - reactivated. Fuck. He was starting to regret - although only slightly - stuffing Viviane in the wall, when he heard a voice behind him, thick with sarcasm.

"Well, Black… do you any more brilliant ideas intended to save me from certain death?" Snape sat up slowly and rubbed at a knot on his head that felt like it was the size of a quaffle. "Or do you think you've managed quite enough for one day?"

"Listen, you git. I was trying to help -"

"By barging in where you were not needed and interfering - "

"Not my damned idea - "

The argument was cut short by a loud whimper from Fidelis.

Ignoring the pain in his head, Snape moved quickly to find the little spaniel. "What happened?" Fidelis managed a weak tail wag at the approach of his master.

"His hind legs are broken. He needs -"

"I can see very well what he needs. Though why you waited to attend to him is beyond my comprehension." Fidelis was already beginning to relax as the spell that Snape was murmuring took effect and his pain started to ease. The potions master worked quickly, transfiguring small pieces of his robe into sturdy splints to keep the little dog's injuries from becoming any worse. Finally, he leaned over to nuzzle his injured pet and received a lick on his nose for his efforts, bringing a brief smile to his face.

Sirius shook his head. "For the record, the Tewksberry bitch took my wand. I wouldn't have let Fidelis suffer if I could have done anything. But you… how?… wandless magic?"

Snape sat up and rolled his eyes. "No, you idiot. I have my wand right here." He pointed to his arm. "And that is exactly why I didn't need your pathetic attempt at help. Now the map is gone, we're trapped, and the only one capable of getting out of here without magic is unable to walk, much less dig."

Sirius leaned dejectedly against the cold wall of the basement and sank to the ground. As he reached the floor, he heard a muffled clunk come from within his robes. Reaching in, Sirius pulled out the still half-full Thermos of polyjuice potion.

Snape raised an eyebrow… a thirsty eyebrow. "What is that?"

Sirius grimaced. "Nothing that will do us any good, unless you have a screaming desire to see what it's like to be Sirius Black for awhile."

Snape shuddered - literally - at the thought. But by the time his shuddering stopped, he had an idea.

"Actually Black, it seems you have provided us with a means of fixing this entire situation in spite of your general overwhelming incompetence. Oh the irony."

***

"Behind me!" Charlie yelled to the others, pulling his wand from his robes. As they moved, he briefly caught his brothers' eyes and they all returned his nod.

George leaned in and whispered loudly enough to get Jason's attention, "Remember that spell we used before?"

Jason nodded, his eyes locked on the hideously deformed wizard in front of them who had quietly lowered his packages to the ground.

"When Charlie gives the signal, we'll all go. You got it?"

"Yes." Jason gripped his borrowed wand tightly and prayed that he wouldn’t fail to perform under pressure. He got the distinct impression that he wouldn't get a second chance.

Voldemort looked at George and Jason and laughed. "Surely you're joking. Foolish boys, you have no chance against me." He raised his wand and pointed it directly at the Weasley twin's heart.

"Now!" Charlie roared.

Of the two things that happened simultaneously, Jason wasn't certain which horrified him more. Whether it was the fact that all four of his cousins disappeared before his eyes, leaving him standing alone to face Ultimate Evil, or the fact that said Ultimate Evil was screaming madly while three-foot-long flames erupted from his ass - well, both were inconceivably BAD.

Aw shit. That spell.

All thoughts of magic pushed out of his head by a pure flight response, Jason did what any self-respecting former Muggle would. He ran.