Double Dog Dare! -- Episode 34
Catherine Cook

Viviane came to, rather unwillingly. Her head felt like an ashtray. Her mouth tasted like one, too.

But that voice kept sounding in her head: Come on, you silly wench. Get UP. Master and Sirius are in trouble, and you've got to help them!

"Now who the hell are you?" she said aloud, staggering to her feet.

Someone who's smarter than you, has four feet, and white-and-red fur. Figured it out yet?

Viviane was so shocked she nearly fell back down. Then she burst out laughing.

"You've been hanging around Snape too long, you little piddling furball," she gasped out between guffaws.

*~*~*~*

Mr. Jason McCarthy, late of the City of Boston, USA, was sitting in a rather comfy overstuffed leather chair, courtesy of Mr. Benjamin Banneker Hooks, deceased, also of that same fair city. (Mr. Hooks, being a ghost, did not actually conjure this wonderfully physical chair himself; rather, he showed Jason how to do so, using the 'Massachusetts' section of the United Staves.)

"So how did you come to be here, Mr. Hooks?" asked Jason, with far more respect than someone his age and cultural background usually accorded a man of learning.

Mr. Hooks chuckled, his brown eyes gleaming from behind the ghostly shimmer-veil. "Not by my own intent, Jason. I was attending a transatlantic wizarding conference in 1940 -- I was part of a coalition to persuade the wizards of the United States why we needed to help our European brethren fight off Grindewald -- when I was set upon by young Tom Riddle here, and some of his followers." He made a sardonic smile. "In fact, I think I have the dubious honor of being the first victim of Riddle and his 'Death Eaters'."

"He was after the Staves?"

The ghostly Mr. Hooks shook his head. "No, I think not. He didn't find out about them until after I was dead. I was, instead, a target of his for other reasons." He leaned forward, having sat down in a ghostly chair of his own conjuring. "Being that I was the most vocal member of the Confrontationist faction in the United States, Riddle -- who was secretly working with the Dark Wizard Grindewald, who himself was assisting Hitler -- saw me as a threat, and rightly so. So he arranged to have me put out of the way, and made my death look like an accident."

Jason's head was whirling, trying to take it all in. "So... Voldemort's real name is Tom Riddle, and he was working with Grindewald, who was working with Hitler."

"Quite so."

Jason felt sick to his stomach. "So how do we fight him, then?"

Mr. Hooks' smile became particularly broad and sharp. "I've had a few decades to consider that very thing, my lad. Now, pay attention...."

~*~*~*~*~

Lord Voldemort, after a nice nappie and some creamed-bat soup, thought it might be well to check in on the young Mudblood.

I wonder if the little whelp's soiled himself yet, thought Voldemort amusedly as he opened the door to Jason's cell. He certainly seemed ready to vomit, if not defecate... A brief mental command, and the door swung open; Voldemort was fond of these little tricks.

"Ex uno plures!" shouted a young male voice.

Suddenly, Voldemort felt himself beset from all sides by staves -- dozens of them. Long ones, short ones, big ones, small ones.

And all of them were shooting spells his way.

He tried to deflect them, but there were simply too many, even for him. He finally went down under the blow of a particularly strong Expelliarmus. His head hit the floor, knocking him unconscious.

"E pluribus unum!" called out Jason McCarthy, just as Mr. Hooks had taught him, and held out the staff marked 'Massachusetts' -- the only one that had not left his hand.

Suddenly, the other staves, which had been hovering in mid-air, zoomed back toward Jason's hand. He opened it, and the United Staves resumed their usual baseball-bat configuration, pieceing themselves back into place faster than Jason could see it happening.

"Cool!" he shouted, grinning like a madman.

"Satisfactory," replied Mr. Hooks, with a ghostly smile.

"Do we try to move him?" asked Jason, who was already at Voldemort's side, tearing off strips of Voldemort's cloak to use in tying him up.

"Alas, no. You'll have enough difficulties Apparating yourself past his Holding Charm." Mr. Hooks raised his head, as if he was sniffing the air. "But I sense that it's weakened a bit, since he's not conscious right now, and the Staves have temporarily weakened him. You should be able to get home, with the Staves, now."

"But I can't leave you here!" Jason said, as he looped the improvised rope around the Dark Lord's hands and knees. "He'll try to come after you!"

Benjamin Banneker Hooks laughed. "I'm a ghost, lad -- he can't do much of anything to me. And now that you've activated the Staves, he can't keep me here. In fact," he said, shimmering and fading, "I'll meet you over at The Burrow..."

And he was gone.

Shortly thereafter, Jason himself finally used the spell he should have used, back in Knockturn Alley, and found himself back in Molly Weasley's garden.