Chapter 3: Is He The Biggest Jerk on Earth, or What?

A few days later, Alex had settled into a nice routine at Hogwarts. She seemed to be accomplishing what she set out to do—keep her eyes open and fit in. She had started helping teachers by ordering any unusual supplies they might want for their classes. Alex had a number of connections in rather exotic places. She was also helping Dumbledore with record-keeping. She was really enjoying observing classes and had some ideas to give the Headmistress of the American school. An article had even appeared in the Daily Prophet, which gave details of her visit to Hogwarts and showed a picture of her with Dumbledore. The article explained that she would be teaching a few classes on the use of computers and other common Muggle electrical devices, with special permission from the Ministry to enchant them so that they would work within the school grounds.

The Friday morning after the start of term, there was a delivery of supplies for Professor Snape. She decided to take it to him. She hadn't seen much of him since her first day at Hogwarts. He never really spoke to her, or anyone else for that matter. She couldn't help but be intrigued by him, which only irritated her. You'd think he was the only man on earth the way you're acting, Alex scolded herself, but somehow couldn't get the image of those dark eyes of his out of her mind.  She was clearly not over him.

On her way to Snape's dungeon, she crossed her fingers. I hope he's in a good mood. Alex had some bad news about the shipment of armadillo spleens and livers that he'd ordered this summer. As she came around the corner to his dungeon classroom, she heard him shouting at the top of his lungs at a poor student.

"Longbottom, I was prepared to accept the fact that you haven't learned a thing in my class during the last four years, but I did think you could read a simple instruction sheet. I should make you lick this potion off the floor!" His voice boomed out the door into the hallway and made her flinch. He then continued in a softer and more frightening tone, "Perhaps you would like a quicker acting poison instead. I could arrange that."

She didn't hear a word from the student and Snape went back to yelling. "I want this mess cleaned up quickly and then I want you back here for a detention at seven o'clock tonight. Let's see if you're good enough to take over Filch's job when he retires. Otherwise, I don't know how a blithering idiot like you will ever find a position anywhere!"

Alex almost did an about-face, but decided to take her chances with the purple-faced teacher. At least her presence might help to restrain him.  She knocked on the classroom door. "Professor Snape, I'm sorry to disturb you. Do you have a minute?"

He looked at her as if he were about to start screaming at her too and growled, "Miss Lennox, please go to my office and wait for me. I'll be with you as soon as I finish with this lame excuse for a student." She could tell Snape was fighting to control his temper.

Alex went into his office, put the box she was carrying on his desk, and sat down with her back very straight and her hands folded in her lap. She couldn't help looking at the collection of interesting things in jars on the shelves behind his desk. I'd better just sit here. No telling what he'll do if he finds me touching anything.

Alex heard him berating the student some more. At one point she thought Snape would strike the boy. He could never teach at an American school. He's just a lawsuit waiting to happen. I wonder why Dumbledore allows this sort of thing? She didn't have much time to speculate. The irate teacher marched into his office, and although she tried to remain impassive, her face betrayed her thoughts.

"I suppose you think I was too hard on him," Snape said defensively.

Alex replied in a terse tone, "That's a no-brainer, but what I think probably doesn't matter to you, Professor. I'm not exactly in your chain of command. So, I'll keep it to myself."

"A wise decision," he said in his quiet and dangerous voice. "I'm of the opinion that Dumbledore should not tolerate too much outside influence."

Alex was surprised by his rudeness, especially given the fact that they had known and liked each other in the past. She wondered if he was deliberately picking a fight. Alex wasn't afraid of him, and she wanted to make it completely clear.  She folded her arms and stood to face him across his desk. "Oh, I didn't realize that you had a problem with my presence here. Care to get it out in the open?"

"As you have raised the issue, I will tell you that I don't appreciate you or your brother trying to influence how Dumbledore deals with the current situation. Furthermore, I don't understand why you are here, but please be assured that I do not want or need your help."

"First, it was you who raised the issue, not me. Second, I wouldn't be here if Dumbledore hadn't asked me and if your Minister of Magic didn't have his head in the sand. Finally, although you are definitely not in my chain of command, I will tell you this. I am here to gather information on the activities of Voldemort and his supporters for my brother and to make myself useful as possible to Dumbledore. That job, however, does not require me to kiss your ass, so if you if you want a fight, let's have it now and get it over with!" She took a step toward him, her fists clenched, and she was just waiting for him to make one move. He'd regret it, that's for sure!

* * *

Typical posturing American. She hasn't grown up at all, he thought and said to her with a smirk, "I see you consider this to be a diplomatic assignment as well." He studied her red face for a moment, thinking that she looked quite attractive, and said, "Perhaps we should leave this subject for now and deal with actual school business."

"Right," she said, recovering her composure. "Take a look at this shipment of armadillo spleens and livers. I could get better armadillo parts off the side of the road in Texas. I don't like the color and size if you're going to use them for a memory enhancement potion, but it might be suitable for something else. I can get you some from a different supplier in about five working days. Will that do?"

He studied the contents of the box for a moment and then looked at her as if he wanted to say something derisive, but he thought better of it. Dumbledore did tell me to make her welcome, and she does know her ingredients, he thought. "I see your point. I'll keep these for now, but I will require some more of a higher quality in about two weeks. If you can arrange that I would be most grateful," he said in a slightly sarcastic tone.

* * *

He hasn't changed a bit. He's still full of it when he wants to be.  She smiled at him, but her eyes flashed a different message. "I'll get on it right away." She turned and left fuming.

Alex decided to go to the staff lounge for a break. Most of the teachers would be in class, so she could just sit alone for a few minutes. Minerva McGonagall was sitting in a chair by the fire, with a tray and teapot in front of her. She must have noticed that Alex had red blotches on her face and looked upset. To the students, Professor McGonagall presented an impenetrable mask of propriety and strictness. To others, although reserved, she could be quite a good friend.

"Alexandra, you look as if you could use some tea."

"I could use a punching bag if the truth be told, but I'll take the tea, thank you," Alex replied.

"Let me see. You had a run-in with someone. My guess is this person is on the staff."

"Correct", said Alex.

"Only one staff member could make any of us that angry. It must have been Severus."

"Right again, Minerva. You win a free drink at the Three Broomsticks the next time we go. In fact, why don't we go there now?"

"Alexandra, it is only ten o'clock in the morning. Surely we can control ourselves for a few more hours," McGonagall said in a mock shocked tone.

"You're right a third time. I shouldn't let that man get my goat. I have work to do. She drank her tea in silence and then turned to McGonagall. "What is the deal with him anyway? Is he still playing that Gryffindor-against-Slytherin game, or does he really dislike me personally?"

"I would have guessed that Professor Snape finds you . . . um . . . interesting, but he does like to goad people sometimes. Just think of what he was like as a student and multiply it by ten. Perhaps he was just in a bad humor and you got in the way," McGonagall replied thoughtfully.

Is he ever in a good humor? Alex asked herself and then looked at McGonagall, "Well, he was reprimanding a student as I arrived in the classroom, and I guess I should have ducked.  How does he ever get away with that?" Alex stood up, feeling slightly better. "Back to my office. I actually have to place an order for that sorry son-, I mean for Professor Snape. See you at lunch, Minerva."

"Perhaps tomorrow we can do a bit of shopping in Hogsmeade, my dear. I need hardly tell you that the weather is about to change and you are not prepared."

"Sounds great. I do need some cold weather robes. Thanks for the tea, Minerva." Alex smiled at Professor McGonagall as she left the lounge feeling better. She went back to her office, wondering what Minerva meant when she said she thought Snape found her interesting. I wonder if he would be interested in having that big nose of his make contact with my fist. Then she had a fleeting thought of a different nature. He does have a nice mouth . . . Alex mentally slapped herself and reminded herself that she was not here to have that kind of fun.

That night Alex plucked up her courage and sat next to Snape at dinner. She told him that she had received confirmation that his order would arrive in five days. "Thank you, Miss Lennox," he said in a somewhat less cold tone of voice.

"Severus," she began, "would you mind if I sat in on one of your classes soon?"

He let out an impatient sigh and said, "I suppose you must, since theoretically that is why you are here." His eyes were cold and distant. 

Alexandra leaned over and said in a low voice, "Do you get a bonus for being nasty or is it just your hobby?" He gave her a very surprised look, but she saw him glance at Dumbledore, noticing that he was looking over at them.  He must have decided not to comment any further.

"Very well, then. If you would like, come to my class at nine o'clock on Monday morning."

"Thanks, I'll be there," she said breathing a sigh of relief. She turned to her right to speak to Professor McGonagall.

"I see the two of you haven't killed each other yet," said Minerva in a barely audible voice.

"Not that I haven't been tempted," said Alex. "Let's forget all that and plan our shopping day. I need to go to Gladrags for sure. I'm about to freeze to death at night. I'm afraid I wasn't very smart about my nightdresses, and I only brought flimsy silks. I might as well go naked." Alex heard Snape coughing and winked at Minerva.

"Alexandra!" exclaimed Minerva in genuine shock. "Please restrain yourself!"

"Must I? Anyone who doesn't like it shouldn't listen." She smiled at Minerva.  "Let's see, I also need some hair color potion and some parchment.  Then we should go to the Three Broomsticks. Rosmerta promised me a better selection of warlocks for my next visit." Alexandra looked at Minerva's astonished face and laughed. "I'm just joking, Minerva."

As Professor Dumbledore was leaving the head table, he stopped between Alex and Professor Snape. "I see you ladies are enjoying yourselves tonight."

"Yes, Professor, we're planning tomorrow's outings," said Alex.

"Severus, I suggest that you come with me," said Dumbledore, looking amused as he rescued Snape.

"I think I will, Headmaster," Snape replied. He got up and left, giving Alex a very funny look. Knowing that it would annoy him immensely, Alexandra smiled at him. As soon as he turned his back, she made a face at him, which prompted a laugh from Hagrid and Professor Flitwick.

"Now Alexandra, ye better not let ‘im see you do that or ye'll never be friends."

"Now that would truly be a shame, Hagrid."  What the heck! It feels like I have nothing to lose at this point.

Alex left the Great Hall with Harry, Ron, and Hermione. She took them back to her room to listen to music and talk. Ron was fascinated with the laptop computer she had. Later, after they left, she got her cloak and went out for a walk. She went down to the lake and sat on the bank, holding her arms around her knees. She found herself wishing that Severus could be with her right then. Why can't he just be civil? That's all it would take, she thought.

Alex let her mind wander to that awful night when she heard that Lily and James had been killed. It was the last time she had seen Severus. She was in Europe, and when she heard the news, she Apparated as close to Hogwarts as possible. She walked onto the school grounds, hoping to see Dumbledore, but also wanting to sit in one of her secret hideaways and have a good cry, alone.

To her great surprise, she was not alone. Severus Snape was sitting on a tree stump in a small clearing near the greenhouses. They had discovered that place together some years earlier.

"I might have known you'd turn up," he said, trying to stand but stumbling a little.

"Severus, you're drunk.

"How very perceptive of you. Nothing gets past you, does it?" he said, taking a swig from the bottle he was holding. "I'm sure you know why," he said with a deep bitterness in his voice.

"Yes. I know why," she said in a shaky voice.

"Don't cry, Lexy. I can't bear it right now," he said in an almost tearful voice.

"Where are you staying, Severus?" she asked.

"In Hogsmeade, at the Inn."

"Let me take you there before you pass out." She went over to him and helped him stand up. He was quite a mess, but she still liked the feel of his arm around her.

They walked back to the Inn in silence. She had to work hard to keep him steady. Once they were in his room, she helped him straight over to the toilet. He was violently ill.

She had quite a time with him that night. He got sick often and at one point, he conjured up a shower stall, turned on the water, and stepped in with his clothes on. She remembered being horrified and having to scramble to find some clothes for him to put on afterward. One good thing did happen. I did get to wash his hair, she thought. It was amusing, but very embarrassing.  At least he got dressed again without my help!

Alex knew that Severus was uncomfortable with her in the present because of what had happened between them that night. He had shared something she believed was more intimate to him than sharing even his body. He had shared his thoughts and feelings with her. They had shared each other's grief as well. He told her everything he could stand to tell about his life and what his feelings had been for Lily when they were in school. They had held each other while they both cried over the years of pain and fear that ended with the deaths of James and Lily and the defeat of Voldemort.

Alex stayed with him that night, although nothing happened. She remembered being tempted, but congratulated herself on not being stupid. It would have been sad to have my first experience with someone who wouldn't remember it well, she thought. She did hold him and recalled running her fingers through his soft, thick hair. Just thinking about it now made her wish she could do it again. Don't hold your breath, she thought, and got up to walk back to the castle.

As she walked in, she met Snape on the marble staircase. "I see you haven't changed much. You still like to roam at night," he said in a cold voice.

"You wouldn't know if you weren't out here yourself. Besides, what's it to you? You can't take points off of Gryffindor because of me."

"It happens to be my job to make sure the students are where they belong at night." He growled back at her.

"I'm not a student."

"You should be setting a good example for them, then. Going out alone at this hour might be dangerous. You should know better than to act like the stupid, irresponsible girl you were twenty years ago."

"And you should know better than to think I can't take care of myself. You know what I am."

"No, I don't and I don't want to know anything about you."

Alex gave him a look of hurt and surprise and said in a quiet voice, "Well, that disappoints me. I was kind of looking forward to spending time with someone who knew me in the old days, but never mind. . ." She turned away quickly so that he wouldn't see the tears shining in her eyes, ran to her room, and locked the door behind her. Why does it have to be this way? It's not my fault I remind him of the past.

* * *

Snape was on the verge of feeling guilty, but fought back the feeling. He knew that there was unfinished business between them, but he couldn't face it now. After all, he hadn't asked her to come here and it was best that she know exactly how he felt.  He walked swiftly down the stairs to his room, suddenly very aware of his solitude.