Chapter 1: No Further Doubts

It was a Monday morning, and Harry thought it was far too early for Ron and Hermione to be having an argument, especially an argument about Professor Snape and Alex.  Their engagement had been the talk of the school for the past week, and Harry was a little tired of hearing about it.   

"Ron, why would you feel sorry for Professor Snape?  He wants to marry Alex.  He's not being forced into it."

"Well, really Hermione, it's the end of his life as a bachelor.  From now on, he'll be taking orders from her."

"Hold on," said Harry.  "Am I hearing right?  Did you just say something in support of Snape?" asked Harry.

"Yes, I did.  Like my mum says, it's a big step getting married."

"Of course it is, Ron," Hermione hissed.  "But it's a big step for her too.  She has to give up her career to marry Professor Snape and stay here.  Don't tell me you don't think it will be hard on her."

"Hard on her?  I suppose it will be, in a way."  Then Ron got a very mischievous look on his face, and said, "Isn't it what she wants, though?  Isn't it what all women want?"

Hermione looked daggers at Ron.  Harry wasn't sure he wanted to be around for what was coming, but resigned to the fact that they would always find something to bicker about, he stayed, munching on some toast and bacon. "Oh, so you think all women want to give up everything they have in life for a man?"  She snapped at Ron.

"That's not fair, Hermione, he's giving up his freedom for her."

"Giving up his freedom?" she snorted.  "Tell me what freedom he has right now, the freedom to sleep alone in that dungeon of his?"

"Hermione!" Ron and Harry exclaimed in unison. 

"Well, it isn't as if we don't know it will happen.  They are getting married in less than a month, and they aren't getting married just to share stationery!"

"Hermione, you amaze me sometimes," said Ron.  "I'm not sure either one of us could handle you."

"You flatter yourself, Ronald Weasley.  What makes you think I would allow you to handle me in the first place?"  Her eyes narrowed as she looked at him again and stood up.  "I'm going to the library.  You two can sit around and beat your chests like apes, without me."  She turned on her heel and left the Great Hall. 

"What on earth's gotten into her?  You'd think Snape was forcing Alex to marry him."

"I don't know what to think, except that I don't want to get married for a long time," said Harry.  He studied Ron's slightly pink face for a moment.  When will he ever learn?

***

Alexandra had told Severus about the predictions from Dwyane Welsh, her old informant who had a talent for seeing the future.  Welsh had been wrong about one thing: Lord Voldemort did not appear to be angry that Snape was going to marry Alexandra.  Within the week of his proposal to her, Severus had been summoned.

Alex paced around her office the evening that Severus went away.  It was now December, and the rain that had pelted them for several months turned into a light snow that night.  Alex looked out the window and decided that she wanted to walk through the softly falling flakes.  She wrapped herself in her cloak, put on her gloves, and walked out of the castle. 

She was accustomed to pushing fear out of her mind, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to deal with her fears about the dangers her future husband faced.  She had never been the one to stay behind and worry before.  She had always been the one in the middle of the action.  Severus is no fool, and I trust Colin and the rest to do everything they can to see that nothing happens to him.  I have no choice, do I?  She looked up at the sky and the beautiful thick flakes of snow that were coming down.  Please, come home to me tonight.  She smiled to herself as she thought, I wouldn't send you away from my room if you did.

Trying her best to think of something, anything other than Severus, she recalled that she had received a gift from home that day.  She missed her good friend, Marty, who had sent her this gift.  Maybe it will take my mind off everything.  I'll go in and open it. 

Alex went to her rooms and brought the large package to the table in front of the sofa.  She tore open the brown paper and ripped the tape off the top of the box.  Oh, Marty! You are a great friend!  Alex had unwrapped a collection of lingerie.  Obviously, her friend knew that she was bit shy about buying such things.  There was a note inside.

Dear Alex:

If I left it to you, you'd be wearing a flannel nightgown on your wedding night.  So, choose from among these gowns.  I can't wait to see you, and meet Severus.  Be a good girl and save these for after the big day! 

         Love,
         Marty

Alex smiled at the note.  She was surprised by the gift, but even more so, as she pulled out a total of five new nightdresses and some other fun items.  Each of the nightgowns was a different color and style.  If only Marty were here, she thought.  Alex decided to try each one on and see what her mirror had to say.  After all, it helped me pick out my dress for the picnic!

***

Severus turned to face Voldemort.  "Master, nothing has changed.  Dumbledore believes that I acted under the Imperious Curse," said Severus.

"Are you certain?"  His high cold voice almost made Snape flinch.

"They confirmed this through the use of Veritaserum."

"I take it that somehow you managed to avoid true Veritaserum.  Pity Wormtail didn't have your abilities," said Voldemort with a sarcastic laugh.

"So you do not feel Pettigrew's loss?" Snape asked.

"He was as insignificant as the rats with whom he developed an affinity.  No one is indispensable.  Wormtail, however, was in a category all his own.  He was definitely the least of my servants, even with his contribution to my return.  Alas, poor Wormtail.  He was powerless, weak, and angry; perfect cannon-fodder for my campaign, but not useful for much else."  The Dark Lord paced around the poorly lit room, turning suddenly to address him once more.  "Let the Americans think they've won a victory.  They'll know the truth soon enough."

Voldemort stared into Snape's eyes.  "As for your lover, if she is indeed your lover, she has consented to the marriage?"

"Yes, my lord.  It will take place in a month, perhaps sooner."

"Why not sooner?  You don't mean that her fool of a brother would actually come here for the event?"

"That is the plan so far, but I would prefer it to be otherwise."    

Voldemort laughed his high, mirthless laugh.  "I see.  You tire of playing the game of love already?  It must be quite a strain for you, Severus.  Still, others would take your place if it were possible."

"I find the pretense bothersome.  I have no need for the love of a woman.  That kind of life means nothing to me."

"See that it stays that way.  Bide your time.  Marry her and be prepared to deliver her to me when the time is right.  Her brother will never allow her to die.  His family is his weakness-one of his many weaknesses.  Think of it, Severus.  I cannot lose.  Should I be wrong about her brother's weakness, her death will make me even with the illustrious Michael Lennox, leader of the brave and the free." 

Lord Voldemort's mocking tone would have been difficult to listen to had Dumbledore not used an emotion-tempering charm on Severus.  He turned to face the Dark Lord and said, "Let it be as you wish."

***

Later that evening, Dumbledore looked at Snape as he recounted his meeting with the Dark Lord.  "Severus, Michael must know everything you have told me.  I will continue to mask your feelings with the Tempero Charm whenever it is necessary.  My wish for you is that you and Alexandra will be able to come out from under Voldemort's shadow soon."

Snape looked at Dumbledore, recognizing the sympathy and regret in the older man's face.  From anyone else, it would have been galling.  "Headmaster, it is late, but I must do some work now.  Will you . . . "

"Yes, of course."  Dumbledore pulled out his wand and said, "Aestuo!" 

***

Snape started walking back to his office.  He was tired, but had to muster the strength to do his job.  The Tempero Charm had an unfortunate side effect.  When it was lifted, his emotions tended to be more intense and volatile.  He thought of Alexandra, and although he wanted to be with her, he hesitated.  He didn't want to lose control with her.  Apprehensively, he reviewed the meeting with Lord Voldemort in his mind.  I will be the one to deliver her.  If it did not fall to me, I'm sure Michael Lennox would have arranged to have her taken to him one way or another.  Or, she would just have gone to Voldemort herself.

Her image lingered in his mind.  He knew his emotions were less under his control now, but he had to see her.  He wanted to be reassured by her physical presence, and he recognized that no matter what his condition was now, he definitely had feelings of need for her independently of the charm.  He knocked, and she answered the door, pulling her dressing gown on hastily.  "You're back.  I wasn't expecting you tonight."  He looked at the pile of clothes on the sofa and then at her.  He had not known her to be slovenly.

"Oh, that," she said.  "My friend Marty went a little crazy buying me new nightdresses for . . . uh, . . . after the wedding."  He had never seen Alexandra blush quite like that before.  "I was just trying them on, you know to pick the right one."  Perhaps it's my turn to set her off balance for a change, he thought.

"Did you find the right one?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, I hadn't planned for you to see this until . . . our wedding night," she hesitated, blushing even more.

"It isn't considered bad luck, is it?"

"Oh, no, but-," she said, looking at him a bit nervously. 

He walked over to her and undid her dressing gown.  As her dressing gown fell away, he saw that she was wearing the most striking nightdress he could have imagined.  He'd certainly never seen one like this.  The garment was pretty on its own, but it also shimmered as if it was somehow enchanted.  Her shoulder-length hair was a bit tousled and she was biting her lower lip, which drove him crazy.  The bright color of the backless gown gave her skin a rosy glow.  As he looked at her, he had no doubts about his feeling for her.  He thought back to what she had said about proving her love to him. 

He drew her close and began kissing her.  He kissed all around her face, and then began to kiss her neck.  He stopped to whisper in her ear.  "I do hope the time is right, Lexy."

"The time has been right for about fifteen years, Severus.  It just took you that long to figure it out."  He led her into her bedroom, thinking how much he loved her.  Whether the side effects from the Tempero Charm contributed to his feelings or not, he didn't care.  She was his, and that's all that mattered.

***

The next morning Alex awakened first.  She lay still for a minute, thinking about the night before and smiling to herself.  She looked over at Severus.  She had never watched him sleep before, and was enjoying it.  He has the most appealing mouth, when he isn't sneering.

My Severus, she thought, I really didn't know you as well as I thought, did I?  You were so wonderfully tender, and so, so much fun!  She could feel her face get hot at the thought of what had happened between them. She wondered whether he had any complaints about her.  It sure didn't seem like it!  She thought.  Her self-consciousness had melted away quickly as they had discovered each other.  To her, the most enjoyable aspect of this exploration was that each of them had the ability to awaken so much passion and emotion in the other. Even in her own mind, it sounded strange and exciting.  It was as if I had the power to make him want to worship me, but he also held the same power over me.  Who would have thought that our first little kiss would lead to this?

She thought back to the first time he had ever kissed her.  She had been only thirteen when he was getting ready to leave school.  She had suspected then that he was on his way to becoming a Death Eater.  He had taken her to the same tree stump behind the greenhouses where she had found him years later, on the night after James and Lily had been killed. 

"What's the occasion, Severus?" she had asked when he sat her down on the stump.  "I haven't seen much of you lately."

"I'm sorry.  I've been busy studying.  I wanted to say goodbye to you.  I have a feeling we won't be seeing each other again."

"Why would you say such a thing?" she had asked, giving him a hurt look.  "Oh, how could I forget?  You'd rather spend your time with that rotten group of yours than with your stupid little friend, Lexy.  I'm just not bad enough for you."

"Alexandra Lennox, if you're going to be the same little nuisance that you always are, then leave."  She had gotten up and had started to walk back to the castle, when he grabbed her and pulled her back.

"Hey, what are you doing?"  He had pulled her to him and kissed her lightly.

"That should shut you up for a while," he had said to her in a sarcastic tone of voice.

She had looked at him with wide eyes, feeling her face get hot.  He had sat down on the stump and had then pulled her next to him.

"I know I shouldn't have done that.  I just wanted you to know that no matter what happens, I will always remember you."

"Why do you have to say it like that?  I know I'm just a kid, but I won't always be."

"Things are different now.  I'm going to be concentrating on a new way of living.  I don't want you to get involved until you know what you're doing."

"You can't fool me, Severus Snape.  I know what it's all about, and you know I would never be a part of that.  Why don't you stay here in Hogsmeade and do something else?  There's got to be something else you could do with your life.  You know what I want to do.  I want to fight people like the ones you're with now.  Please, don't make me fight you someday."

He had looked deep into her eyes and had slowly brought his mouth to hers again.  "Lexy, you don't understand."

"Oh, yes I do.  I'm not stupid.  I'd better go.  I'm sorry that we can't be friends anymore, Severus.  Let me know if you get tired of leading your new kind of life."  She had gotten up and left with tears stinging her eyes, knowing she had done the right thing.

Michael would have died if he'd known that Severus kissed me at thirteen.  Alex got up, trying not to wake him.  When she returned to bed, he was sitting up.  "Good morning, Sev, I brought your dressing gown."  She handed him the garment.  He looked a little surprised.  "I've got house-elf connections, dear."

He got up, quickly, pulling it on.  When he returned, she gave him a look he seemed to understand, because he climbed back into bed and began kissing her.

"Why don't you lie back and relax?" she said, as she began to nibble on his neck.

"Something tells me that relaxing is the furthest thing from your mind."

"Oh, I don't want to relax, but I want you to relax and enjoy."

"I suppose I must to make you happy."

"Make me happy?" she said, looking up at him, "I believe they award a t-shirt for the level of happiness you gave me last night."

He smirked.  "Really?  I suppose that means your reactions were sincere."

"Severus!"  Alex exclaimed, with a laugh.  "Sarcastic to the bitter end, eh?  Maybe I should make it possible for you to appear in the staff room wearing that shirt.   It would certainly liven things up!"

He looked at her, his dark eyes narrowing as if he were thinking up something wicked to say, but instead, he kissed her.  "That should keep your mind off such things," he said.  Keep telling yourself that, cowboy, she thought.

An hour later, it was time for him to sneak out of her room and get ready for the day ahead.  Alex was frustrated by the fact that they had to be secretive.  This is so stupid, and really not how I wanted it, she thought.

"Severus, I don't like sneaking around like this.  Maybe I should tell Michael that we can't wait until the holidays to get married."

"Perhaps we should discuss this when our brains are a bit less addled," he replied, pulling on her Invisibility Cloak. 

"I suppose you're right.  I'll see you at breakfast."

"Alexandra, do remember to thank your friend for the gift."