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Young Remus Chapter Six: After My Own Decision, They Confused Me So Thanks to my husband and to Hypatia Croaker, who helped me with Muggle London details. Thanks also to Christina Teresa for beta-reading. Laura arrived at Hogwarts on a rainy afternoon in late September. She resisted the urge to find her son, Evan, instead asking Mr. Filch to take her to Professor Dumbledore’s office. Filch left her at the spiral staircase. She went up, clutching the basket of sweets she had for Dumbledore. As she reached the top of the staircase, his office door opened. “Mrs. Clearwater, how good to see you again,” he said, extending his hand to her. “Hello, Professor Dumbledore. I brought all your favorites.” He smiled for an instant, his blue eyes twinkling at her reassuringly. “Thank you, Laura. Come in and let’s see if we can sort out your problem.” Laura walked in feeling more and more apprehensive. He motioned for her to sit, then took his chair behind his desk. “I’m sure, Professor, that it’s not every day that someone comes to you with this kind of memory loss asking you to perform a counter spell.” “That’s quite all right, Laura, but I must ask if you are certain that you want to know these particular details of your past. At the moment, you are well established. Your life is going well, I think. Once you regain these memories, everything may change. Do you come into contact with the other person involved? Are you acquainted with him?” “Well, obviously I once was, but he told me that he had not seen me for fourteen years. I met him at Flourish and Blotts, when Evan and I were buying his books for Hogwarts before the start of term.” “Speaking of Evan, and you will pardon me for mentioning this now, but I must tell you that he is doing quite well. That is not a surprise to me considering who his parents are. Now, back to the matter at hand. If you are certain, I will perform the counter spell.” “I’m prepared, Albus.” I’m prepared to have my life turned upside down-but oh wait, he did that already when he told me the whole story! “Then, let’s give it a try. I must warn you that I will only cast this spell once. I don’t know the strength of this Memory Charm or how it will have affected you. I don’t wish to harm your mind, so whatever is recovered on this one round will be all that we dare seek.” He got up and brought a Pensieve out of his cabinet and placed it on the table next to her. “I have taken the liberty of acquiring a fresh Pensieve for you to use afterward. No doubt you have your wand?” “Yes, I do.” “Then, let’s proceed.” She sat, looking wide-eyed and afraid. He smiled and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t be distressed, Laura. Whatever is revealed will not go beyond this office.” She nodded as he aimed his wand and said, “Reparare!” Laura felt a flash of heat and an almost suffocating wave of emotion in her chest. She gasped and Dumbledore quickly pushed the Pensieve toward her. “You must begin placing the memories in here in order to avoid over-loading your mind, Laura.” He helped her place her wand to her temple and draw the silvery thread into the bowl. As soon as it touched the glass, it began to swirl and she saw a young Remus Lupin holding a bouquet of flowers. Professor Dumbledore cleared his throat. “I will leave you alone for a while if you are all right.” She nodded. His eyes moved almost involuntarily to the image in the Pensieve. Was it her imagination or did he seem pleased? *** Laura scowled at her niece, Penelope, and said, “You’re not helping, Penny. You’re supposed to be the voice of reason.” “Aunt Laura, you should know that reason has very little to do with how you feel. I mean, we all thought he was a wonderful Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher when he was at Hogwarts." Penny grinned in a coquettish manner. "Not to mention the fact that all the seventh year girls thought he was very handsome.” “Penny, stop!” Laura hissed. “I can’t think about such things.” Penny just smiled a knowing smile and said nothing. Laura paced around her sitting room a little and then continued, “You know it wouldn’t do for your grandparents to suspect that I’m keeping company with a werewolf! I had enough problems overcoming my own humble background in their eyes even though I am a Seer. If they get wind of anything, they might try to take Evan away from me. I don’t want to jeopardize Evan’s peace of mind. I've worked too hard at keeping his life as normal as possible to risk a custody battle.” “Oh, Aunt Laura, you know I’d never tell them anything.” “Of course, Penny,” Laura replied, stopping to place her hand on her niece’s shoulder. “I don’t know what I would do without you and your mother. I'm glad that there are at least two people in this family I can trust. I just don’t know what to do or how to handle this. Obviously, I was in love with him and the day I met him in Diagon Alley I could feel that his emotions toward me were very strong.” Penny took her hand and drew Laura gently to sit on the sofa next to her. “Aunt Laura, it’s all so romantic in a way. He made a grave error, but he regrets it sorely and he’s never married, so it must mean that he still loves you.” Laura smiled at her earnest look on her niece's face. “Penelope Clearwater, I think being in love with Percy Weasley has completely turned your head. Where’s the logic in it? I don’t know him and he doesn’t know me. He has some idealized image of a young woman who doesn’t exist anymore.” She got up again and paced in front of the window. Penelope followed her to the window and lightly touched Laura on the arm. "Oh, I don't know. You aren't so different than you were when I first met you. I always thought you were the least judgmental person I had ever known, but look what I've had to contrast you with! I was young, but mother watched you struggle to save your marriage with Uncle Robert. If I know anything of Professor Lupin, I know that he would certainly appreciate your caring nature more than Uncle Robert did." Laura turned to look at her niece with a grateful smile. "Penny, I don't hate Robert. I can't. I think he did love me in his own way, but I was his attempt to rebel against his parents. That's not enough to hold a marriage together. We are friends now and I really like Gwendolyn. She's been very kind to Evan. I just hope that the fact that they have a family of their own will deflect any attention away from me. I've never really felt free to have another relationship." "It's time you did and time you tried. What's the harm in writing him a note and meeting him somewhere out of the way? I know what he did was wrong and I'm not certain I could forgive it, but of all people in the world, you certainly have the ability to understand what his motives were. If you could forgive Uncle Robert . . . " Laura looked out the window with tears in her eyes. Yes, infidelity is something that can be forgiven under the right circumstances, but like Robert's infidelity, Remus' actions breached the trust of their relationship. Penny didn't understand -or maybe she did- what it meant to trust another person with your entire self. It wasn't just the physical, although she considered this important. It was the idea that he didn't believe her capable of helping him shoulder the burden of his grief at the time. Would it be possible for her to trust him again and possible for him to accept her love if she found herself loving him? She turned around to Penny and gave her a small hug. "I'll think about it. Now, let's have our tea and you can tell me all about Percy's problems at the Ministry." The rest of the afternoon Laura and her favorite niece talked about Penny's dreams of the life she and Percy would have together. Laura had a good feeling about Percy, despite the current situation he was in. In the end she felt he would be on the right side and help his father and Dumbledore. *** For the next few days, Laura was haunted by her dream of Remus again and she spent a lot of her time distracted by the memories she had seen in the Pensieve. It's not enough that he was sweet and loving and adorable, I had to see what happened THAT night. How will I ever get these stupid rewrites of Unfogging the Future done? Finally after ruining her fingernails and several quills, Laura decided to write him a note. Rissy, the house-elf, had brought tea in that afternoon and studied Laura with an expression that let her know that she knew something was up. Whenever Rissy’s ears were down, Laura worried. Can I count on her being loyal or do I worry about her telling the dragon? Laura shook her head. You need to think of something else to call your former mother-in-law, Laurita! "Mrs. Clearwater, you is needing Fernando to deliver a letter for you?" Laura laughed. "Rissy, I sometimes think you are a much better Seer than I am. Please get him for me and I'll write the note now." Laura took some of her nicest parchment from her desk; carefully avoiding the scented parchment that Penny had given her last Christmas. Why does it all have to be so hard? For one thing, how do I address this note? Somehow "Dear Mr. Lupin" sounds a tad formal; after all, I did sleep with him. Oh, dear. Laura covered her mouth with her hand. Dear Remus? There's nothing dear about Remus at the moment. Okay, just Remus.
There, that'll do, Laura thought. It's formal, but not stuffy; polite, but not gushy. Whatever happens will happen and as Penny said before she left the other day, if it isn't going to work out, I'll know right away. The only thing left was for Remus to agree and for her to come up with the courage to show up. The next morning, Fernando returned with a note tied to his leg.
*** Remus reflected for a moment on how familiar it felt to be getting ready to see Laura while Sirius draped himself across his bed. This time the circumstances are quite different. "It's a good sign that she wants to see you, Moony. Quit worrying. After all, she promised not to scream at you. You really can't ask for more than that." "You're not helping, Padfoot." Remus stopped combing his hair for a moment and looked at Sirius' reflection in the mirror. "And you weren't there when she threw me out of her house." "Lots of loud shouting, rude words in Spanish then?" "No actually, she escorted me out the door after showing me pictures of her life without me." Remus went back to concentrating on a particularly unruly lock of hair. "Ouch!" Sirius said, studying him for a minute and then sitting up. "It can't have all been good, can it? She's not married any more." "Well, I don't know anything about her life. She and Robert Clearwater are done with, but I don't know if she has anyone else." "Wait!" Sirius bolted up and turned Remus around to face him. "You mean she married that pompous prat Clearwater? The one from Ravenclaw who used to go around saying that the Quidditch Cup should be abolished?" "The very one." "I thought she had better taste than that. The Memory Charm must have addled her brain." Remus flinched and Sirius looked at him sheepishly. "Sorry, mate, you know we all did stupid things when we were young. At least your lapse in judgment didn't result in anyone's death." Remus looked at his friend's tired face and said, "You did what you thought was right." "So did you, you sod," Sirius said slapping him on the shoulder. "As long as you have a chance to convince her that you’re all right, you have to try. Have you got everything? Muggle money? Gift?" "Yes." Remus took one last look at himself in the mirror, satisfied that his Muggle clothes were in order. He was frustrated at having to meet her in a Muggle establishment. Needing to feel like she has control I suppose, but I can hardly blame her in a way. "Then you're all set." Sirius winked at him "Don't stay out too late." "Shut it, Padfoot." Remus left his parents' home, Apparating near Lee and nervously making his way to the pub. He arrived a few minutes early and waited, but Laura never came. After waiting for two hours in the pub, he decided to leave, but not before drowning his sorrows in a few pints of ale. What do I expect? It just doesn't seem like her to seek revenge like this, though. Oh, Laura, can we ever get it back? *** Remus turned to look at his mother, who was sitting at her kitchen table. He was frustrated by her insistence that he not give up on Laura, and the hangover he had from drinking at the pub the previous night didn't help. Why can't she just face facts? "How do you know, Mother? Maybe she just didn't want to see me." "She's afraid, Remus. She's afraid she can't trust you. At this moment she probably feels that she can't trust her inner sight either. She's not a vengeful person." He stepped away from the counter he'd been leaning on and took the chair across from her at the table. "I don't think that, Mother, but frankly, the way things are, it might be best if we don't hook up after all." Remus had other responsibilities that should take precedence over his love life. In fact, Dumbledore had asked him to collect information on the activities of Avery, a known Death Eater, over the next week or so. His mother smiled at him and sighed "Always careful, always sensible . . . Oh, Remus, remember what I said. You have a chance. Don't give up. Write her and tell her you understand her fears. You do, don't you? I mean she trusted you and then she trusted the man she married. You know what happened don't you?" Remus bristled at this question, slamming his beaker down a little harder than he intended. "No, I only know that they are no longer married." "Remus," his mother said in a softened tone, "he was unfaithful to her." She stopped to look at him with a touch of sadness in her eyes and placed her hand over his. "She's had her heart broken twice. Of course she has reservations now. Try to see it from her point of view and reassure her." "I'll try." Remus' tone softened as well. And I sent her in Clearwater's direction . . . Later that day, Remus wrote a short note to Laura. Dear Laura: As hard as it was, Remus didn't want to give up hope. *** When Laura received this message, she began to cry. She felt sorry for the two of them, trying so hard to get beyond the challenge of this predicament. Too bad we can't both have a Memory Charm and start over. What am I saying?She picked up her quill and grabbed some parchment, not even caring if it was the scented type or not.
“Fernando, es para Remus Lupin,” she said as she tied the note to the owl's leg. Fernando looked at her a little condescendingly. Everyone is this house- even the stupid owl- seems to know everything. What’s wrong with me? *** “Thank goodness Cassandra Vablasky likes you, Laura,” her publisher, Nigel Libreto puffed to her as they sat together in his office reviewing her completed revisions. “She seems to think absolutely everything is in order.” The short, portly man always spoke as if he were out of breath. “Oh, well, I can play the game if I have to, but she does have lots of talent and she was very prompt with her responses every time I owled her for assistance. I can’t believe she picked me in the first place. I mean, this is a serious project for her, so I’m glad she likes what I’ve done.” “You can relax now and wait for her to do the next bit. You won’t have anymore to do until the start of the new year. Enjoy your time off, dear.” “I will," she said standing up. "I’m off to get my Christmas shopping done,” she announced cheerfully. “Gods, woman!" Nigel's eyes grew wide in his very round face. "It’s only the start of November. Christmas shopping is best done on December twenty-fourth.” Laura laughed. “Some of us like to plan ahead, Nige. See you later.” He stood up and came around his desk to take her hand and give it a powerful squeeze. "I'll see you in January then." She left his office, which was not too far from Gringotts, and went in to withdraw some gold before going to Diagon Alley to find all the things on Evan’s list. This year she had to work hard to draw it out of him. Her last stop was Quality Quidditch Supply. Robert had written her that, while he didn’t wish to discourage Evan, he would prefer if all things having to do with Quidditch, especially brooms, were kept at her house. He made it sound like it was a safety measure because of the young children in his house. She knew better. Robert hated Quidditch. “We’ll have it delivered well before Christmas, Mrs. Clearwater. He’s going to love it!” the sales person said, looking appraisingly at her. Surely other mothers order brooms. She stepped out of the shop and went over to the Leaky Cauldron. In the back of her mind was the thought that had been there for several weeks. I have to write Remus . . . She went in and greeted Tom. He had known her in those days, hadn’t he, and yet he never said anything. Instead of sitting down at a table, she transfigured her purple cloak into a Muggle raincoat and went out the door. She was restless and she needed a place to sit and think. She went to the one place she had always loved - St. James Park, right by the impressive gates of Buckingham Palace. On her way there, she mused about Remus. Should she write him? Could she do it and really show up to a proposed meeting? She couldn't help but think that once they made contact, everything would spiral out of control. It wasn't every day that a handsome, well-spoken man came into her life--and with the history they had and the indication that he still had feelings for her, how could she ever resist him? It was all very overwhelming. She had finally arrived at her destination. The park was still beautiful, even on a gloomy day. She stood by the caretaker’s cottage before she started feeling better. This place comforted her. She had brought Evan here many times to feed the waterfowl after they had watched the changing of the guard at the palace. Laura had come from the Muggle world and wanted her son to know something about it. Robert was more interested in the palaces and the royal residences in the area than he was in the park. Laura found a bench by the water and sat down. She looked across the water and began to feel more like herself. A light rain started, just as she thought it would. She pulled up her umbrella. She looked up and saw a man standing by the wrought iron fence. He had pulled up the collar of his coat and when he turned to the side, she saw his face. She knew it was him. No umbrella! It figures. *** Remus felt a light tap on his arm as he looked out at the water. "Hello. It's lucky that I have my umbrella, isn't it?" Laura's voice, her smile, her large, dark eyes sparkling at him. . . Was it a dream? She pushed the umbrella handle into his hand. "There's enough room for both of us, Remus. Let's go to a pub I know. It’s just around the corner. We can talk.” Remus was still stunned and it took a second for him to start walking. She put her arm through his. Was it just so that they would both stay dry? She led him back to the street and to a pub with a green awning, called the Westminster Arms. His mouth was dry and his palms were sweaty, despite the damp chill in the air. For a moment he felt as nervous and awkward as the young man who met the pretty young woman on the street fourteen years ago. "Let me go to the bar and order. I know what to get and I think we both need something pretty strong to chase the chill away, don't you?" Laura smiled pleasantly, and he wondered if he'd ever get his tongue back. "Yes, and I need to get my courage up as well," he finally managed to say. Her smile widened. "I'm in the same boat, Remus, but we've got to make the best of it. Be right back." She went to the bar and secured two pints, one dark ale and one paler lager. "Well, I'm afraid that all these years in England haven't changed my American palate that much when it comes to beer. Is this all right?" "It's lovely, Laura, thank you," he said, as she sat down across from him and put her hand over his. "How have you been, Remus, since you dropped the bomb on me?" Oh dear, this is going to be interesting. He was certain he looked shocked. "I'm sorry," she said, her face softening at the look on his face. "I'm not trying to guilt-trip you. It's just that this situation presents a tremendous-for want of a better word-etiquette challenge, among other things." He nodded. "Yes, but I have a proposal." It was her turn to be taken aback. He smiled. "It's nothing dramatic, Laura. I just wondered if it would be possible for us to start over and take it very slowly--that is, if you can possibly bear to be with me at all . . . " "I'm with you right now, Remus, and I was just sitting on a bench planning what to write to you. I should tell you that I asked Professor Dumbledore to undo the Memory Charm and it worked pretty well. Now, I'm almost like any other woman facing her old boyfriend." Remus froze. Was it better or worse that she knew how they had loved each other then? She was still smiling and patted his hand reassuringly. "Look, I think I understand why you did what you did, though I'm still angry. Forgiveness isn't the problem here, Remus. Trust is the problem. I just don't know if I can trust you again. And I've really wanted to find a relationship where I could be free to trust the man I love. Everyone makes mistakes--especially when they're young. I did get over what Robert did . . . " "Laura, I don't know what to say. I can say the words, I can make the promise, but I'd rather have the chance to prove it." Her eyes glittered and he saw a tear run down her cheek. "All right. We'll try it. I do have to be careful about Robert's family. I don't want them to find out at the moment. I don't know if it would cause problems, but I can't afford to take that chance. I know that you are busy with important work, so you contact me when you want to see me. I'm done with my part of Unfogging the Future until the first of the year." "All right, Laura." Remus smiled at her not bothering to hide his elation. A chance, that was all he could ask for. "Do you want to have dinner? I have Muggle money. It's a bit early, but you can tell me about your son." "Okay, I'm pretty insufferable when it comes to Evan. He's a great kid, let me tell you." They spent the next couple of hours becoming reacquainted with each other. He told her enough that she could guess that Sirius was not guilty of what had happened to James and Lily, though she seemed to know the truth in her heart already. She also told him about her son, clearly the most important person in her life. He admired her devotion to her child and to making his life as normal as possible, given the circumstances. His limitations had never let him think about having a child, but he did like children. He told her about Harry and everything he had seen when he taught at Hogwarts. They parted before entering the Leaky Cauldron, after Laura squeezed his hand and told him that she'd wait to hear from him. Remus entered the wizard world in a haze. It might just work after all, if he could only convince her that he was trustworthy. *** Laura read the headlines in the Daily Prophet and was overjoyed. Sirius Black had been exonerated. She took no small amount of pride in the fact that American FBM had found Pettigrew. Something didn't ring true to her about the story, but she didn't care. Remus would be happy that his friend was free and she wanted to see him too. She jotted a quick note to Remus to see if he and Sirius would be available to come to her house for dinner in the next few days. It would be like old times in a way. "All right, Fernando, keep your opinions to yourself," she said, tying the note to the owl's leg as he stared at her and clucked his beak. She couldn't help but be happy, though. Rissy even seemed to notice that she was delighted about something. When she got the note back from Remus, she hurried to set up the menu with Rissy. Laura even insisted on doing the cooking herself. Rissy, the house-elf, shook her head, but cooperated. She seemed to like Laura's giddy mood. *** Remus and Sirius sat together at the Lupin's dissecting the evening at Laura's house. "Well, Moony, it was hardly a romantic evening with me along, but if she's still really angry, she's hiding her feelings a lot better than she used to fourteen years ago." "I think she was just thrilled that you were free. She quite liked you and she never believed you were guilty." Remus looked at his friend earnestly as they sat in the parlor. "I can certainly imagine that I charmed her completely, but she still seemed to be most captivated by you." Sirius punched him in the arm and leered at him. "How in the world would you know?" He said, rubbing his arm and shaking his head at the grin on Sirius' face. "I saw her holding your hand while we had our pudding in the sitting room. I think she's blinded by your beauty." Remus snorted. "Hard to imagine you would admit that anyone could look better than you." "I didn't say you looked better than me." Sirius rolled his eyes. "I just meant that she seemed to be completely charmed by you. Face it, Moony, you are lucky that I am not her type." "I'm going to bed. My light is not brilliant enough to overcome your shine." Remus stood up and started moving toward the door. "Yeah, who knows what Dumbledore will have in store for us. I'll be visiting Harry again this weekend, if I can stomach watching Snape and Alexandra." "What do you care, you never wanted her." "I know, but something about him being happy with a woman . . . it's not natural." Remus laughed and watched his friend go to the guest room-where Laura had stayed all those years ago. He fell asleep that night thinking that life was good. *** It was Christmas Eve and Evan was at home with his mother. Lots of exciting things had happened at Hogwarts, including Professor Snape's wedding. In a way, Evan had wished he'd stayed behind to meet the American delegation that had come to visit. Mrs. Snape’s brother was as important in the United States as the Minister of Magic was here. He was sure his father would have liked for him to meet Michael Lennox. But, how could he disappoint his mother? Of course, had he known that he had to share their traditional Christmas Eve dinner with a stranger, he might have changed his mind. Who was this Remus Lupin to her? All he knew what that Lupin had been a teacher at Hogwarts a couple of years ago. Evan did little to hide his grumpiness and Laura knew what was going on. Evan had never asked her if she had wanted a relationship after the divorce. This must be a reaction to the idea of sharing her with someone else, even if she had only described Remus as an old friend she met in her University of London days. And, she also knew that he wouldn’t want to open his gifts in front of Remus. She walked into the study where he sat reading a book early in the afternoon. “Evan, shall we open gifts now? I don’t want to do that in front of Remus.” Evan brightened instantly. “That’s a great idea, Mum. Wait ‘til you see what I got you. I ordered it from Gladrags.” “Oh, honey, I hope you didn’t spend all your pocket money on me. You did get something nice for Gwendolyn and your brother and sister?” “Yeah, I did.” He rolled his eyes. “You know I get plenty of pocket money from Father.” “Okay, well, you go to your room while I set things up and make some cocoa. Then, we’ll open gifts and get ready for dinner. I have your favorite decorated biscuits and lots of sweets.” Evan ran up the stairs rubbing his hands together. As soon as she heard the door close, she went to the sitting room and gathered up his gifts from under the tree. Then, she went to make cocoa. “Evan! Come down now.” Laura called out to her son. *** Evan sat on the floor in front of the tree. There was no mistaking the long package. It had to be a broom, but would it be a Firebolt like Harry Potter’s or the Firebolt Two? He looked up at her and she nodded at him to go ahead and open the package. He ripped at the paper and gasped when he saw what was inside. “A Firebolt Two! Mum, how did you know what to get? This is the best broom ever made!” “Well, I read Quidditch Today, you know. The sales clerk at Quality Quidditch Supply told me it was the latest model and had the best acceleration ever. I hope you like it." "Can I go out and ride it now, Mum?" "Sure, Evan, but don't you want to open the rest of your gifts?" "Well, I will in a little bit, but I won't get to take it with me, so this is all the time I have." His mother looked at him and smiled, "All right, take a drink of your cocoa and go on. I'll open mine later. I have some cooking to do anyway." "Thanks, Mum, you're the best!" Evan ran out of the house thinking that it wouldn't be so bad to have his mother's friend there tonight after all. *** Remus rang the bell, remembering those times when he had been to her flat in London. Laura opened the door and instantly, he remembered how wonderful it had been to see her each time. She looked as pretty as she did when they were younger. Of course, she was different, she was older, but the same smile and the same beautiful eyes were there. The rest was not bad either. He wondered what she thought of his gray hair. "Remus, Merry Christmas!" she said giving him a small hug and pulling him in. She was wearing red velvet robes that set off her dark hair quite nicely. He handed her some flowers he had chosen very carefully and a gift. "Happy Christmas, Laura. Is Evan here?" "Yes, he is. Come into the sitting room and sit by the fire. It's really getting cold out. I'll go call Evan. He was out flying all day and he's still changing." Remus looked around at all the decorations she had in place. Some were Muggle and some were enchanted decorations, but it was clear that she loved Christmas. There was a large tree in the corner decorated with many ribbons and fairy lights. There were also assorted biscuits, small ornaments containing pictures of Evan as an infant, then as a young child, and finally, more recent photos. All the pictures were staring intently at him at the moment. He knew that Evan was bound to be a bit curious. Laura had warned him that Evan knew they were friends from her student days, but had not told him anything else. Laura and Evan came in together. Evan was carrying a tray of appetizers and Laura had a tray of drinks. Strangely enough, these drinks looked frozen. Two of the goblets contained a swirled frozen drink Laura called a Margarita, and the third a fizzy drink. This looks good, he thought, looking at the appetizers. "Evan, you remember Mr. Lupin? You met him in Flourish and Blotts before the start of the school year." "Yes, hello, Mr. Lupin." "Hello, Evan. Your mother has told me all about you. How do you like Hogwarts so far?" "It's really great," he said, his eyes brightening a little. "I like being in Ravenclaw, even though our Quidditch team isn't the best." "Well, now that you have your broom, Evan, you can practice whenever you're here. Who knows, you could be the new Seeker next year." Laura said, looking at her son with pride shining in her eyes. Remus looked at Evan, who was tall and slender, with dark hair and eyes like hers. He did have something of Clearwater around the mouth. "He might do fine as a Keeper or a Seeker, Laura. Do you play often, Evan?" Remus saw Laura look at him and then her son as Evan's eyes lit up. "Do you like Quidditch? Did you play when you were at Hogwarts?" "I love watching it, but I'm not an outstanding player. My two best friends, James Potter and Sirius Black were on the Gryffindor team when I was in school. I may not have measured up to them, but I do know a little something about the game." Laura passed the food around while he and Evan discussed Quidditch. Remus and Evan talked about Harry Potter, the most exciting player at the school. For now, Dumbledore was still allowing the game to be played. If things got worse, he might have to change things, but Remus was relieved that the students were having fun. Laura smiled at him as he and Evan talked. She excused herself to finish putting dinner on the table. He was sure it would be as exotic to him as the appetizers and the swirl drink had been. She called them into dinner just as they were discussing professional teams. Evan looked at him and said very seriously, "I think we'd better talk about something other than Quidditch or Mum will be left out entirely. She knows the game, but she's not an expert." "I think you're right," Remus whispered conspiratorially as they walked into the small, elegant dining room. The table was very festive, with the flowers he had brought as the centerpiece. There was a large platter containing bundles that looked like dry cornhusks. The only side dish he recognized was rice, which was a distinct orange color. He was up for the adventure, though, considering that she cooked very well. His eye fell on the platter of decorated biscuits on the sideboard. She still made them, just as she had when they were young. The dishes were a cheery holly pattern and there was a small tree in a pot sitting on the sideboard decorated with the tiniest fairy lights he had ever seen. "Sit down and let's share our crackers so we can wear our hats at dinner. This is a multicultural table," said Laura. Evan and Laura shared a cracker. His contained a miniature Quidditch player who flew past their heads on a tiny broom before settling next to his plate. Remus pulled one with Laura. His contained a small umbrella. A small storm cloud formed and the umbrella opened up to shield his drink glass from a brief shower. Finally, Laura pulled one with Evan. Hers contained a small book of love poems. She seemed to blush and look in Remus’ direction as she read the book. They all put their hats on and started passing the food. Laura carefully explained that the little bundles were to be unwrapped before eating and warned him that they were spicy. She told him that tamales were part of their traditional Christmas Eve dinner, continuing her own family's tradition. After dinner, Remus and Evan helped to clean up. Remus was feeling the effects of the Margaritas and suggested tea with the biscuits. Laura agreed and he could see the extra flush in her cheeks. She made tea and brought it into the sitting room with the decorated biscuits, some smaller biscuits powdered with sugar and cinnamon, and a beautiful cake in the shape of a star. "Mum! You made my favorite!" Evan exclaimed. "Of course, Evan, como que no!" she said blushing a little. Remus was enjoying watching Laura with her son. He liked Evan, who seemed unspoiled by being in the Clearwater family. That must be her doing. After dessert, Remus and Evan played Exploding Snap! and they opened a few more gifts. Laura had given Remus a large umbrella and a book. Remus had given her a lovely scarf and a pin. Evan showed Remus his new broom and the talk turned to Quidditch again. Soon, Evan began to yawn and Laura told him to go to bed, since he had to go to his father's house in the morning. He shook hands with Remus and wished him a Happy Christmas. They were alone and Remus suddenly became a little nervous. Clearly it was too soon to kiss her, but he was feeling a bit more daring thanks to the Margaritas. She sat next to him and said, "He really likes you, Remus. Thank you for talking to him about Quidditch. His father hates it, so he really doesn't have anyone to talk to when it comes to sports." Her smile was quite engaging and he was sure he looked like a complete idiot at the moment. "I enjoyed it. It made me feel closer to those wonderful old times with James and Sirius." "I'm sorry, Remus," she said, tilting her head to one side. "I wish I had understood my powers better in those days. I did have a bad feeling about Peter, but I didn't know how to channel my thoughts to see anything specific. I guess there are enough regrets to go around." She looked at him with glittering eyes. "Yes, you, Sirius, and I seem to have plenty, don't we?" He said, looking down for an instant, but then brightening a little as she took his hand in hers. "Well, we're doing all right, don't you think?" "Yes, yes I do, Laura." She squeezed his hand and they gazed at each other for a moment. Remus lost his courage. He just didn't want to ruin the evening by kissing her if she didn't want to be kissed. "I'm afraid I've kept you up far too late, Laura." "Oh no, I always stay up late on Christmas Eve. Before you go, let's go into the garden for a minute. It's so beautiful in the crisp, cold air." They put on their cloaks and went outside for a moment. The moon was a tiny sliver. Lights decorated the bushes in the garden. They sat quietly for a while just holding hands. Laura moved close to him, but never turned her face in his direction. Perhaps she doesn't want her son to see me kiss her. I don't mind. A few months ago I thought she'd never speak to me. "Well, Remus, although I hate for this night to end, it is a bit cold," she said leading him back inside. "I have something for you to take home." She stopped in the kitchen and brought out a basket filled with baked goods, breads, tea cakes, and decorated biscuits. "Please give my best to your parents." "Thank you, Laura. My mother will enjoy not having to bake as many treats tomorrow." They stood at the front door and she put her arms around him and hugged him. "Happy Christmas, Remus." Then she kissed him lightly on the cheek and he felt a wonderful warm feeling. "Happy Christmas, Laura." He turned and walked to the gate before Disapparating. *** A/N: The title of this chapter was taken from a song by Yes, called Owner of a Lonely Heart. |